How to feed a horse.

Step 1: Approach the nearest living thing (refer elementary science book for help) in your vicinity.

Step 2: Check to see if it an animal or a plant. If it is on the ground, try running towards it. If it flies, it is a unicorn, move ahead. If it doesn't, it may be an animal or a plant.

Step 3: Get the colour right. If it is green or any shade of green, it is a plant or an animal but not a horse - a parrot or a grasshopper or other green animals (could be both mythical and boring) - oh wait we were not talking about ogres or plants, were we?

Step 4: Continue with step 3 and focus this time. Look for colours like white, brown, black, beige or purple (because you don't want to be dismissive of the purple dyed horse, they are usually very eccentric.)

Step 5: After approaching this beast, check to see if it is a herbivore, a carnivore or an omnivore. If it pounces on you, thank you for visiting my blog, may you rest in peace. If it seems docile, it might be pretending, so wait for sometime to ensure that it is being honest.

Step 6: If the waiting has paid off, click a picture of the animal and send it to 10 friends and wait for at least 3 positive replies.

Step 7: If these responses are positive for a horse, go fetch some grass or hay, because you don't have it. Remember: you were here to feed a horse, and not identify it.

Step 8: After getting the grass, return to the location by following your GPS history. If your GPS was turned off, I have nothing to say. Jump to exit button of this computer (wait what? - exactly!)

Step 9: If the horse has relocated, jump to step 1. If the horse is still there, it might be dead and hence no longer a living thing, so jump to step 1. If it is almost dead, give it a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (it is to be noted that the air from your mouth to the horse's mouth does not count as feeding but merely as aiding to breathe.) If you think it is alive refer to an elementary science book again for confirmation. If it is really alive try feeding the horse. If it doesn't eat jump to step 1. If it eats, it is probably a hungry horse.

P. S. From next time onwards look for a hungry horse. This requires advanced learning. You can do so by referring to someone else's blog post dedicated to advanced topics.

Disclaimer : It is a beginner's guide. (Should have been written in the beginning, I think - like I said a beginner's guide, truly, in all respects.)